Blind Date

Ellen approached the bar cautiously and ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio. She was there to meet some guy named Ralph on a blind date arranged by Mandy, a friend from work. Ellen hated blind dates as they usually didn't work out. The last three almost put her off men completely.

Mandy had assured her that Ralph was special, a real gentleman. Her last date Larry "forgot" his wallet and she ended up paying for everything. The guy before Larry didn't bathe because he was between jobs and was trying to save money. And Andrew was boorish, rude with the wait staff at the restaurant, dissatisfied with her clothes and makeup, and generally loud and obnoxious when spending time on his cell phone.

Mandy had given her a perfume to wear. It smelled of lilacs and orange oil. "Wear this," Mandy smiled as she handed over the bottle, "he'll find you." Ellen had dabbed it on quite generously before leaving her apartment for the bar.

She sipped her wine and fidgeted with the glass, tapping her freshly painted nails against the stem. The more she thought about the earlier dates, the more she wanted to flee this one.

She dug around in her purse for her phone and dialed.

"Hello?" the party at the other end of the call answered.

"He's late," Ellen whispered loudly into the phone.

"You’re early," Mandy hissed back. "Take a chill pill and give him time. You won't be sorry."

"I'm already through my first glass.  I don't want to be drunk when he gets here."

"Then don't be," Mandy replied.

"You're no help."

"Just relax. Enjoy yourself. And whatever you do, don't embarrass me."

Ellen clicked shut her cell phone and slipped it back into her purse. She turned her attention back to her glass of wine and slowly scanned the room while she took a sip.

Several sips later a blind man entered and slowly made his way to the bar. He was sniffing the air as he slowly walked towards her. He stopped beside her and sniffed her shoulder and smiled. "Your name wouldn't happen to be Ellen, would it?" he asked with a sheepish grin.

Before Ellen could answer, he introduced himself. "I'm Ralph Jones, your blind date for the evening and I get the feeling that Mandy didn't tell you much about me."

"She certainly never said anything about you being blind!" Ellen gasped. "Now I see why she insisted on the perfume."

"Do you still want to go through with this date?" Ralph asked. "I'll understand if you don't."

"I've never dated a blind man before," she smiled at him.  "Sure, what have I got to lose?"

"I was thinking we'd start the evening with dinner followed by a movie," he paused briefly. "Unless you'd rather see a show?"

"How about we go dancing after dinner?" she countered, "But only as long as you let me lead."

She escorted him out the door to his limo. They drove to a five-star restaurant for dinner. Ellen was suitably impressed by the ride, the dinner and the conversation.

After leaving the restaurant, a vile beast set upon the duo, tossing her companion aside with ease and crushing Ellen's back against a brick wall. He licked her throat and sniffed at her neck. Before he could sink his fangs into her, Ralph was there pulling him off and tossing him aside.

The vampire rose up to attack again, but Ralph was ready for it and drove its head into the wall. Ellen stared in disbelief at the sudden change from man to beast as Ralph grew teeth and claws.

The vampire found itself facing a large angry cat that did not hesitate to rip out its throat before severing its head.

With the threat gone, Ralph resumed his human form, naked and panting on the alleyway pavement. Ellen quickly gathered his clothes and helped him cover himself while they slipped quickly into the limo.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," he said while hurriedly buttoning a clean shirt.

"It's OK. It saved me the trouble of having to deal with the blood-sucker." She smiled at him.

"Come again?" He straightened his tie and pulled another pair of dark glasses out of a drawer. "How exactly would you have dealt with him?"

"It's the perfume, you know; it's quite strong, good at masking scents as well as marking potential prey." Ellen waited for a response.

"You were never prey. What would you know about prey anyway?"

"Quite a lot actually," she said as she bared her fangs and launched herself at him.

Ralph quickly reacted, driving a stake into her heart. He tapped on the glass between the compartments and the driver lowered the window. "Mandy, it looks like you'll have to find a new friend. This one turned out to be a vamp."

 

Scurry

“Filthy rats!” The old woman yelled at the small creatures as they vanished into the shadows along the walls. “Someone should do something about them.”

“Yes, Millicent.” The old man patted her hand. “But they are all gone now. And no harm was done.” He led her a little farther down the walkway to the safety of an awaiting limousine.

“The neighborhood has gone downhill since we moved out. I’m glad that the old place is being torn down. The rats will have no place to live once it’s gone.” Millie took her seat in the back of the limo.

“Yes, my dear.” The old man nodded and patted her knee. “The rats will be homeless.” He tapped on the glass separating him from the driver. “Now, let’s go home and eat our supper.”

“Oh dear, Woodrow. I don’t know if I can eat after that scare.”

The limo slowly pulled away from the curb to head back to the gated community where the elderly couple lived. The driver had been fortunate enough to be employed at the time when the gates went up. The impoverished lived outside in squalor. As he drove the elderly couple home, he thought about those less fortunate souls. His family was among them.

This trip outside had been Edward’s chance to help his family. Nestled inside the trunk were his brother’s family and his sister. His parents had died years ago. Edward had expected this but he still felt the loss. At least his brother, Edmund, and sister, Emily, would have a chance to lead a better life. The wealthy never paid much heed to their staff as long as the staff saw to their needs. It wasn’t unusual for staff to smuggle their relatives into the Sanctum. The rich could afford the extra food and other sundries.

The couple that Edward chauffeured for had no children of their own; they were planning on living forever. They didn’t socialize much since most of their friends had died. An occasional trip to the theatre or a concert was all the entertainment they took pleasure in. Edward thought it a pity that they didn’t get out more.

The couple was so seldom seen that most people had forgotten what they looked like. They used to get invited to dinner parties, but since they never reciprocated with one of their own, the invitations stopped coming. And Edward had been intercepting what few invitations to go out that they did receive. He had been practicing the fancy script on the notices for months – just to get them to go back to the old neighborhood, just so he could bring his family inside.

A few weeks later everyone was settled. The children were cleaned up, well-rested, and fed. Edward’s brother and sister helped him take care of the large manor. Although the children had the run of the North Hall and most of the third floor, they occasionally strayed out of bounds.

One day, while they were playing a rowdy game of tag, the ran through the hallway of the second floor. The old woman had been standing at the top of the stairs when they scurried past. Startled by their sudden appearance, she lost her balance and fell down the long staircase. Summoned by her scream, the old man appeared at the top of the stairs just as she landed in the entry hall.

“Tsk, tsk. Always though she startled too easily.” He ambled over to the small brass elevator and summoned the car. By the time he arrived at the entry hall, Edward and his siblings had arrived to examine the body. The old man smiled. “Please tell me the old biddy is dead. I don’t think I could stand another century of her.”

“I’m afraid that she didn’t make it, Sir. Any idea what happened?”

“It’s those delightful children of yours.” He pointed at Edward’s sister and then his brother. “Or are they yours?” He sat in a chair near the base of the stairs. “Doesn’t matter. This house is way too large for two people. But the question is, what do we do with the body?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it.” Emily assured the old man.

“Good, good.” Woodrow nodded. Looking up the stairs, he sighed. “Perhaps it’s best if the children didn’t see.”

“Oh, don’t worry. We’ll take care of the children.”

“Good, good. I’m going back to my room now. If you would be so kind as to bring up my supper when you are done.” Edward followed Woodrow to the brass lift.

“Of course, Mister Woodrow.”

The old man interrupted. “Please, just call me Woody. We’ll talk some more when you bring up my supper. I have some things we need to discuss. And there may not be much time.”

While Woody returned to his room, the three siblings cleared away the body, dragging it into the kitchen and stowing it in the walk-in refrigerator. The cook had just finished cooking supper. She gasped when the old woman’s body arrived. “What did you do? What about the old man? Is he dead too?”

“No, Lydia, he’s just fine. The old lady fell down the stairs and broke her neck. No sense in letting good meat go to waste. Is his supper ready? He wants me to take a tray up to his room.” The cook nodded and set about placing the food on the tray. Edward picked it up and turned as he was leaving. “Thank you, Lydia. Tell my family that they may dine in the formal dining room tonight. I’m sure that Woody would approve.” Lydia nodded in acknowledgement as Edward headed upstairs.

Woody was sitting at a small table waiting for Edward to arrive with his supper. Edward set the tray on the table and sat down across from Woody. “Just what do you want to talk about?”

Woody took a sip of his tea. “It’s about the house...” He paused to take a second sip. “...and you.”

“I don’t follow.” Edward leaned forward. “Please continue.”

“Millie wanted to live forever. I didn’t. I had the old bat convinced that our brains could be transplanted into your bodies. It’s all fiction, you know – can’t be done. But the idea was that we would all pretend for her benefit. And once Millie and I were under, we wouldn’t wake up. That way the you and Lydia would get the house and the money. You could pretend to be us. Brilliant idea, don’t you think?” The old man winked at Edward.

“But why?” It wasn’t that the thought hadn’t crossed Edward’s mind. In fact, he had thought about pitching it to his brother. And although he and Lydia had been fooling around, they hadn’t seriously considered spending the rest of their lives as a couple. He had to know why the old man would make those plans.

“Because...” The old man hesitated. “Promise you’ll let me finish.” Edward nodded. “Well, to be honest, it’s because I’m your father. Millie refused to have children. She was always so damn worried about losing her figure. Your mother and I were fooling around and I got her pregnant. The money was all Millie’s and I didn’t want to give it up, so I gave up your mother instead. Anyway, when you were old enough, I hired you. You can bury the two of us in the backyard tomorrow morning. Then throw a big party. It’s all here.” The old man walked over to a desk and opened up a laptop. The screen brightened when he turned on the small lamp beside it. “Everything that you need is here. All those classes that you took were to prepare you for today. Now, go eat your supper and have a chat with Lydia. It’s time for me to get ready for bed.”

Downstairs Lydia was busy serving up a new dish that she had prepared to celebrate the end of Millicent. “I’m surprised the old biddy didn’t bounce down the stairs. Well, tonight we feast.” She dished out a scoop of white rice into a bowl, then ladled on the yellow stew.

“What’s this?”

“’S curry.”