Blind Man Buff

Ralph Jones had been born blind. At least, that is what he told everyone who asked about his dark glasses and cane. He needed to hire a driver, and Amanda Faraday was more than happy to work for him. They first met in a dark alley.

Ralph Jones sat by the rear exit to the bus slowly tapping the floor with his cane. Dark sunglasses hid his eyes from those around him. He pulled the bell wire seconds after the bus turned the corner. It was bad enough that the bus was late, but now he had to get off early and walk the rest of the way. He tapped his way to the front of the bus to ask the driver why the bus made the turn. “It’s because of a detour. There’s a fire down the block. Police are diverting traffic.”

Ralph exited the bus and made his way to the nearest alley to make up for lost time. He didn’t notice that the streetlights in the alley were out. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. He could hear the scurrying of rats along the gutter, the occasional hiss of an alley cat, and the distinct crack of glass breaking above him, followed by the rant of an angry woman falling from the freshly broken window, amidst the tinkle of broken glass hitting the pavement. Ralph dropped his cane and positioned himself to catch the falling female. “It’s not every day that a naked lady falls into my arms,” he quipped.

The squirming woman pounded against his chest. “Let go of me,” she demanded.

After setting her safely on the ground, he gingerly felt around for his cane with his foot. “Are you all right, Miss?” he asked while bending down to retrieve it.

Amanda Faraday couldn’t see who had caught her after plunging into near total darkness, but she was ready to fend him off. She threw a punch in the direction of the male voice, but it failed to connect. However, the sound of his cane tapping about calmed her down. “You’re blind?” she asked before realizing how rude the question seemed. “I’m sorry,” she hastily muttered. When her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness of the alley, she added, “I guess you are.” Remembering his question, she took a good look at herself. She had a few minor cuts and bruises from her defenestration, but nothing appeared broken. “It’s a bit chilly out tonight and I seem to have left my clothes upstairs.”

“Perhaps we should go retrieve them?” Ralph offered. “I don’t have any to spare.”

Amanda frowned at the stranger. He wore jeans and a blue crewneck sweater, but nothing he could spare as far as she could see that would keep her warm where it mattered. Glancing up at the window, she replied, “perhaps we should wait awhile. At least until they are done destroying my apartment while looking for something that I don’t have.”

“Nonsense!” Ralph admonished. “You need your clothes, and your guests need a lesson in manners.” He placed his hand on the wall and started walking deeper into the alley. “There should be a door around here somewhere, unless you’d rather take the fire escape.” He pointed his cane toward a set of metal stairs near the front of the alley.

“The back door is locked. And I’d rather not be seen in my current condition.” Amanda walked deeper into the dark alley until she found herself lit by a dim red light. “I’ve found the back door, but it’s an emergency exit.”

Ralph tapped his way to where Mandy stood and felt for the door. Amanda danced backwards out of his way. His hand hit the plate covering the tamperproof latch. “My name’s Ralph, by the way,” he said as he slipped his fingernails behind the plate and gently pulled the door open. Just as magically, the fire alarm didn’t sound.

“How?” was all that Amanda managed to say as she watched Ralph step up into the dimly lit stairwell. She followed him as he made his way up the first flight. “Fourth floor,” she whispered. “My apartment is on the fourth floor.” A few steps later, she added, “Mandy. It’s short for Amanda, but hardly anyone calls me that.”

“How many?” Ralph asked.

“How many what?” Mandy queried.

“How many people are in your apartment?”

“Three, maybe four.”

“I can handle that.” Ralph opened the stairwell door and stuck his head through. No one shot at it. He took that as a good sign.

“Second door on the left, toward the front.” Mandy prompted in a loud whisper.

“I can hear them,” Ralph reached out his hand. “You stay here while I go clear the place out.”

Mandy nodded in agreement. “Fine,” she sighed. After the door closed behind him, she slowly counted to five before following him into the hallway. Mandy never was much good at following orders. And she was curious to see how a blind man expected to deal with the three thugs who had tossed her out her bedroom window.

Ralph stood outside the open door to Mandy’s apartment. A large muscular brute of a man was busy ripping apart Mandy’s couch. Ralph lifted his cane and knocked hard on the door. The brute barreled out into the hallway toward Ralph who had stepped back into the darkness of the far wall. Before the thug could react, Ralph whacked the side of the man’s head with the solid handle of his steel cane. The large man fell to the floor unconscious. Ralph stepped forward and entered Mandy’s apartment.

Inside Mandy’s apartment, Ralph came across the second trespasser in the kitchen. The man was thinner than the brute and considerably shorter. “Ahem,” Ralph grunted loudly while the man drew out another drawer and dumped the contents onto the floor. “Hey Shorty. You are going to clean up this mess when you’re done, right?” Shorty seemed more intent on making a mess than actually finding anything of value. “Who are you?” Shorty barked before grabbing a large kitchen knife and throwing it at Ralph, who dropped his cane to the floor.

“The stuff of nightmares,” Ralph replied while deftly catching the knife as it whizzed toward his head. “I should have warned you. I never lost a game of blind man buff.” Ralph smiled at Shorty who was fumbling to grasp a second knife from the block on the countertop. As Shorty drew his arm up to throw the second blade, the large kitchen knife struck the cupboard door behind him.

“You missed,” Shorty taunted before grinning and turning to remove the large knife from the cupboard door. It proved to be a mistake. Ralph leapt at Shorty, knocking him to the floor. Ralph rolled back to his feet and turned to face the man. Shorty rolled over and rose to face Ralph, shifting the kitchen knife from one hand to the other. Before he had the opportunity to lunge forward at Ralph, a large cast iron pan landed squarely against the side of his head.

“Two down, one to go”, Ralph deftly twirled the cast iron pan in his hand before setting it down on the counter. He retrieved his cane and made his way toward Mandy’s bedroom. As Ralph approached the bedroom door, he could hear the man inside the room breathing. The man stood with his back pressed up against the wall waiting for someone to open the door and step through. Ralph shrugged and stepped through the open door. He could feel the gun pressing against his back. “Your friends are going to wake up with terrible headaches.”

“That was a mistake. You should have killed them.” The man with the gun said while patting Ralph down. “Now, turn around, slowly.”

Ralph began a slow turn. “Nonsense. It may be a few days before they wake up. I hit them pretty hard.” He paused after making a clockwise quarter turn. “Is this far enough?

“Keep going, wise guy. I want to see your face.” The gunman waved the gun menacingly, a wasted gesture.

“I’d like to see my face,” replied Ralph. “I’ve been told that I have a handsome face, classic jawline, Roman nose, kissable lips even. Though that last one usually comes from women.”

“Shut up,” the gunman demanded, “and take those glasses off.” Ralph complied and tossed the glasses out into the living room revealing his grey eyes. “Cane too. I don’t want you getting any ideas.” Ralph tossed his cane out next to his glasses.

“As you can see,” Ralph stated, “I clearly can’t.”

“You’re blind?” The man lowered his gun long enough for Ralph’s fist to connect with his chin.

Ralph sighed as the man fell to the floor. “They never see it coming.” Ralph dragged the unconscious gunman out of Mandy’s bedroom. “You can get dressed now,” he told Mandy who was now inside her apartment.

Mandy had followed Ralph. She had rifled through the pockets of the thug out in the hall. She had slipped into the room after Ralph had taken out the second thug. She waited pressed against the wall while he faced off against the man in her bedroom. Mandy returned Ralph’ cane and dark glasses to him. “Thank you,” she murmured as she scooted into her room.

While Mandy was busy pawing through her closet, Ralph conducted a search of the gunman. Ralph wasn’t ready to share his little secret with Mandy. His grey eyes were now blue behind the dark lens. The partial transformation would allow him to see the contents of the man’s wallet. While Mandy was still busy dressing herself, Ralph made a phone call.

“Dana?”

“Yes, boss?”

“I need you to verify an identity for me. I’m sending the photo now.”

“Got it.” A few minutes of silence. “Holy shit, boss. This dude is connected.”

“To whom?”

“Bad guys.”

“If we clear out, can you get the cops or whoever here before he and his two companions wake up?”

“On it.” Ralph tucked his phone back into his pocket and turned around.

“Who was that?” Mandy asked.

“A friend. I suggest you pack a bag for a few days. We need to leave as soon as possible. The Feds are on their way. Meanwhile, tell me what these thugs were looking for.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then you’ll end up on the floor with these guys. It’s me or the Feds.”

Mandy frowned. “Fine. I’m already packed. I didn’t want to be here when they wake up. Besides, the walls are thin. Neighbors probably already called the cops.”

“And?” Ralph demanded.

Mandy sighed. “I don’t know what they were after. They wouldn’t tell me. They kept swinging me toward the window, saying ‘Where is it?’. But they never told me what ‘it’ was. And all I could say was, ‘I don’t have it.’ Then when they got tired of that, they threw me out the window. And the rest you know.”

Mandy followed Ralph down the hall and into the stairwell. Once on the first floor, Mandy started for the alley door, but Ralph stopped her. “We go down one more floor. The cops have the alley covered.”

“Your plan is to hide in the basement?” Mandy used her angry loud whisper to demand an answer. “You’re crazy.”

“There is a way out down below. The cops will search your apartment first. Let’s not waste time arguing.” Ralph turned to the basement stairs and practically ran down them. Mandy followed.

“You better be right,” Ralph growled into his hand after cupping his ear.

“It’s there, Boss,” Dana assured him.

Ralph and Mandy went to the near end of the hallway just outside the stairwell. The basement hallway lights were dim and flickering, on the verge of burning out. They went into the building utility room across from the stairwell. They passed by a massive bank of electricity meters before encountering a second door. Beyond that door was a dark corridor dimly lit with red lamps affixed about two meters apart. Ralph led Mandy down the hallway as quietly as possible by holding his hand against the wall.

At the end of the corridor was a door to another building utility room lined with another bank of electric meters. Another long hallway greeted them outside the other utility room. At the end of it was the front stairwell to a second apartment building facing the opposite end of the block. A few minutes later, a blind man emerged with a smiling young woman on his arm and entered an awaiting taxi.